Tag Archives: FearOFFailure

Are we so afraid of failure we end up failing ourselves?

As the saying goes, ‘no-one’s perfect.’ Then why does the idea of failing carry so much weight? Nobody wants to intentionally fail, nope, not even a kid that flunks a test. Not showing up for a presentation, that could be down to fear. It’s what we tell ourselves that determines our next steps and sometimes, the next few years of our lives. 

If you say: “I can do it” you will. If you say “I can’t do it” you won’t…

Fear of failure is why we think we’re not capable of doing something, but if we at least try then who have we failed?

For instance, if you’re not good at something it doesn’t mean you’ve failed at it – it just might not be your best attribute. Nevertheless, if you try again, you might get it right the second, third or even fourth time and if you look at things from a different angle, you’d realise it’s your resilience that makes you a success. You can’t be the best at everything, but your true calling can come out of the one thing you didn’t excel in.

Growing up, we form an idea of what success is and usually hear about successful people, but never hear about all what it took for them to get there. A lot of people failed first before they started seeing/reaping the benefits of success. I’m not a big fan of pressure, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know how to deal with it when it comes. I like to reflect on (whatever) situation I’m in, see how it’s working for me so I can ask myself, is this something I can dedicate myself to and what am I willing to compromise? What can I change and if nothing, is it productive? Sometimes, we try so hard to impress others that we forget ourselves in the process.

Meanwhile impressing others, doesn’t mean you’re giving rather you’ve got something to prove, to yourself? It can be a good thing and act as drive, whilst proving to someone else; you might be trying to win them over, right?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The idea of the two seem reasonable still, it’s about priorities. If I’m going to have reason to do something, I’m doing it to reach my full potential. Lead me to at least. Otherwise, we’re left out here proving for all the wrong reasons. The thing about success is it’s usually measured by someone else, what someone has got, possessions, money even education. What is failure, even? It feels subjective for instance, not getting something right or doing it the right way. Besides an English or Math test, how do you do something right, that you have no experience in? or learn as you go along all while doing it the right way.

I don’t know the exact date but at some point, in the 2000’s era till now, gen x & millennial’s woke-up one day and suddenly knew it all. They weren’t called millennial’s then. Still, the older generation probably had the same (know it all outlook then) but they are older now, and you’ve got to find wisdom somewhere. A child will surprise you too. I almost cringed with this topic but had to look at why. 

The same people who’d swear ‘failure is not an option, fail, without realising it. What can you learn without experience? If we got it right all the time, then how can we say we’ve progressed. If something doesn’t work out the first time, it doesn’t mean you haven’t succeeded and if it doesn’t work out at all, it just wasn’t for you. 

Photo by Lynnelle Richardson on Pexels.com

We all have different paths and timing is key, when it comes to embarking on something new. When’s the last time you heard someone say ‘failure yes, that’s an option?’ We all have a bar or ‘set’ our standards when it comes to success. You might be the person who finally reaches what you consider success, only to get there and say; oh, OK. Is that it? Imagine preparing yourself for this one main event in your life that comes but then a few months later, it’s not enough, you want more.

Photo by Gerd Altmann on Pexels.com

 Success to me is being satisfied. Growth doesn’t have to stop there but that feeling of being content is what success means to me. Not compromising who I am, allows me to be content therefore, I am successful. I’ve made decisions that I knew were best for me at the time yet, had doubts that made me second-guess whether I was doing the right thing. It’s OK to change your mind. It can be hard to adjust to ‘one door closes’ if the other one doesn’t open quickly. I’ve learned to be okay with closing the door (and it might not make sense to others). With a little patience and just enough drive, your disappointment could lead to open doors and the start of many great things, in your life.