Category Archives: Feature

Dealing With Grief

Losing a loved one or someone you admire can be a hard and difficult thing to accept. Grieving is a part of dealing with a loss and whatever way you choose to grieve, be it talking about the fond memories you had and how they impacted you or whether you choose not to talk at all, we all grieve differently. Most if not all parts of the world that either watch sports or consume some type of entertainment, would have heard the news of Kobe Bryant, the Basketball legend passing away. It’s safe to say if you were a fan of basketball, news of his death moved and shocked you. His presence was huge on and off the court, locally and internationally so hearing about the tragedy took me by surprise.

Achieving all the great things he did in his career, it comes to no surprise seeing the outpour of tributes, condolences and thousands all over the world wishing him well. I can only imagine what his wife, children and his family are going through, but my condolences to them.

RIP to the Lakers Icon Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and the 8 other victims who died in the helicopter crash on January 26th, 2020.

Hearing of his death so suddenly reminded me of the loss of my uncle. It was sudden, I was shocked, and it didn’t make sense. He was kind, funny, quiet, gentle and a very generous man. You know that one relative that’s dependable, and you could generally go to in your time of need! That’s the kind of uncle I had. There wasn’t one birthday that went by (when I was old enough to have a phone), where he didn’t text Happy Birthday and send me and my brother a card.

I cried immediately I heard the news. My uncle who was in my life since I was a kid, affected me in a way I didn’t realise would impact me until I broke down crying. To the point, his wife and my mum were worried about how I’d take the news, whilst my sibling advised of how he’d break it to me. Grief is a hard thing to deal with, and sometimes we go through wanting explanations when we can’t make sense of what happened ourselves.

We might look for someone or something to blame, unfortunately (or not), this somehow helps people in dealing with the immediate pain. Anger, hurt and pain, are all emotions that people deal with when grieving. Some people go numb and whilst I didn’t experience this I went through some guilt. Not being able to get through on one occasion and waiting for a reply to my text made me upset. After I heard the news, I remembered when I contacted him but how I felt when I heard nothing and the guilt set in.

However, it didn’t last long because I know that he loved me as his niece, and there is nothing I or anyone could have done, otherwise.

For those who have experienced loss and trying to make sense of it, just remember the good times and you were blessed to know them. Basketball fans witnessed his greatness here on earth.

Hearing of Kobe’s sudden passing, reminded me of my uncle but inspired me to write this – although I wasn’t sure at first. Maybe it was watching clips of his fans and colleagues wishing him well, but I needed a community of people who felt the same way I did so not to grieve alone.

Whilst some videos are too emotional or raw to deal with, others mean something to me in the way my uncle meant something to me. I think about his daughter who I use to babysit and try to put my feelings to the side, as I can’t imagine what she’s feeling, thinking or going through. I pray for her and her mother and take some type of consolation in knowing time can heal.

I will never forget my uncle even when there are days where he doesn’t cross my mind, and that’s okay because he wouldn’t want me to dwell on his passing.

RIP to the best Uncle, a Husband and a Great Father.

Sometimes I catch myself off guard when laughing with my family and refer to something my uncle would say. As I’m allowing myself to grieve, I remember things about him which make me laugh, making it easier to deal with the memories. I’ve also cried and expressed to my mum that I can’t believe he’s gone, but this helps me in dealing with it too. I rely on my faith but it doesn’t mean I can’t grieve. Allow yourself to go through the process and not feel guilty about it. If it’s close to home, don’t let anger endure if you think people are more detached or appeared to have moved on, they might just be grieving differently.

Own your feelings and live your life the best way you can.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on

To anyone who has lost a loved one, I hope this blog serves you well.

Photo by Reafon Gates on

Mental Health: Do we really Care?

The term ‘Mental Health’ has been around for years and those within the Health & Social Care industry will be all too familiar with this phrase. Whilst ‘Mental Health’ came with a slight taboo in the past, (it was rare people spoke about it let alone own it publicly) –in recent times, Mental Health has been brought to the forefront through Charitable/Mental Health Organisations. 

Celebrities have also raised awareness as with the media within popular culture. With celebrities advocating’ for solutions and those that have/may experience Mental Health illness – for more attention to be brought to; you’ve either heard of the term or familiar with it. I’ve always placed importance on Mental Health and try not to separate it from physical & emotional wellbeing. In the sense that, I understand the importance of my physical health as with Mental – Health. Having a healthy balance with Mind, Body & Soul. (This includes who we surround ourselves with or what we’re exposed to). 

While studying parts of Psychology plays a part in how I see things, I’ve always been in tune with myself emotionally and understand that before I can do or take care of anyone else, I must take care of myself. It’s something to consider with relationships and our expectations with what we expect from our partner. Are we placing too much burden on others, or expect them to fix our ‘broken-selves’ which no one, can fix? Understanding this, I think, is key to a lot of relationships and reasons why they breakdown. Either way, Mental Health, is something that we should all care about as we all have it.  

There’s been a huge number of celebrities that have come out to talk about their issues with Mental Health and how they’ve survived it. The list includes:

  • Cara Delevingne
  • Selena Gomez
  • Halle Berry
  • Demi Lovato
  • Big Sean
  • Jay Z
  • Michelle Williams 
  • Justin Bieber and the list goes on.

Likewise, it doesn’t matter who you are famous or not, anyone can be vulnerable when it comes to Mental Health. In the past week, the Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle revealed in a clip of an upcoming documentary, on ‘motherhood’ that ‘no-one has asked’ about her being “okay.” With the recent backlash from the media; criticism she faces and the royal couple speaking out against the leaking of her letter to her father, I’ll be surprised if she hasn’t experienced a mini-meltdown behind the scenes, or prone to one. Seeing some of the reaction yesterday to the trending #Weloveyoumeghan, I managed to see some of the twitter responses. The few that I saw, made me ponder whether collectively as a whole, people care about those who are experiencing difficulties. 

I’m sure many came to her support and it was nice to see someone come fully to her defence but fan or not, if people can see something going on why is their usually an attack first before help is offered. 

You don’t have to like or be a fan of someone, to show them support. Either someone you know has experienced hard times, or, maybe a friend of a friend has overcome something major in their lives. Everyone needs time to heal and without judgement. While we may have added our two cents about a situation we think someone could have handled better (whether you knew them personally or not); if we were in that situation the last thing we’d want or expect – is to be judged or overly criticized. Sometimes it’s over something we can’t change. This is why some people don’t like to talk about their feelings or find it difficult to open up.  No matter what, always remember to take care of yourself.

There’s always going to be people that form their own opinions, haters or those that think you should be living your life the same as theirs. For as long as your happy and not hurting anyone, keep your head up high and carry on with your life. 

We’re all a work in progress and no-one’s perfect, no matter how hard you strive to be the best. But how we deal with people we see going through something depends on our mind-set. Our values to an extent, and how we treat people close to us.

Now unless we’re ‘under attack’ by the ‘now opposition’ (we’ve all come across one in our lives), why do we ignore things when we see the signs? Yet, when it comes to relationships, we expect people to stop what they’re doing and attend to our needs. A lot of things have become the norm when it comes to our individual needs and what we expect from people, normally, as we interact with them. So why is it different with people we look at as ‘having everything.’ If I had “everything” my emotional need doesn’t stop at the door and I would expect my family at least to be there for me; something “money” can’t achieve on its own. 

Some people have money but aren’t happy, likewise people who are famous and depressed. It’s the same for those without. Then some people have little/a lot and ooze happiness, however, this doesn’t exempt them from one bad day or week. Maybe more people need to be educated on Mental Health and overall, emotional well-being. In schools, at work and within the media too. Starting at a young age might be the solution because at this rate, a lot of people who should be responsible and appear to support awareness ‘campaigns,’ tend to act indifferent when it has nothing to do with them. We all handle things differently and have an outlet, whether you’re more open with your feelings or not. All I’m saying is; if you’re going to promote well-being or get behind something, do it all the way. 

Be Happy and Stay Healthy!    

Thanks for reading.