Dealing With Grief

Losing a loved one or someone you admire can be a hard and difficult thing to accept. Grieving is a part of dealing with a loss and whatever way you choose to grieve, be it talking about the fond memories you had and how they impacted you or whether you choose not to talk at all, we all grieve differently. Most if not all parts of the world that either watch sports or consume some type of entertainment, would have heard the news of Kobe Bryant, the Basketball legend passing away. It’s safe to say if you were a fan of basketball, news of his death moved and shocked you. His presence was huge on and off the court, locally and internationally so hearing about the tragedy took me by surprise.

Achieving all the great things he did in his career, it comes to no surprise seeing the outpour of tributes, condolences and thousands all over the world wishing him well. I can only imagine what his wife, children and his family are going through, but my condolences to them.

RIP to the Lakers Icon Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and the 8 other victims who died in the helicopter crash on January 26th, 2020.

Hearing of his death so suddenly reminded me of the loss of my uncle. It was sudden, I was shocked, and it didn’t make sense. He was kind, funny, quiet, gentle and a very generous man. You know that one relative that’s dependable, and you could generally go to in your time of need! That’s the kind of uncle I had. There wasn’t one birthday that went by (when I was old enough to have a phone), where he didn’t text Happy Birthday and send me and my brother a card.

I cried immediately I heard the news. My uncle who was in my life since I was a kid, affected me in a way I didn’t realise would impact me until I broke down crying. To the point, his wife and my mum were worried about how I’d take the news, whilst my sibling advised of how he’d break it to me. Grief is a hard thing to deal with, and sometimes we go through wanting explanations when we can’t make sense of what happened ourselves.

We might look for someone or something to blame, unfortunately (or not), this somehow helps people in dealing with the immediate pain. Anger, hurt and pain, are all emotions that people deal with when grieving. Some people go numb and whilst I didn’t experience this I went through some guilt. Not being able to get through on one occasion and waiting for a reply to my text made me upset. After I heard the news, I remembered when I contacted him but how I felt when I heard nothing and the guilt set in.

However, it didn’t last long because I know that he loved me as his niece, and there is nothing I or anyone could have done, otherwise.

For those who have experienced loss and trying to make sense of it, just remember the good times and you were blessed to know them. Basketball fans witnessed his greatness here on earth.

Hearing of Kobe’s sudden passing, reminded me of my uncle but inspired me to write this – although I wasn’t sure at first. Maybe it was watching clips of his fans and colleagues wishing him well, but I needed a community of people who felt the same way I did so not to grieve alone.

Whilst some videos are too emotional or raw to deal with, others mean something to me in the way my uncle meant something to me. I think about his daughter who I use to babysit and try to put my feelings to the side, as I can’t imagine what she’s feeling, thinking or going through. I pray for her and her mother and take some type of consolation in knowing time can heal.

I will never forget my uncle even when there are days where he doesn’t cross my mind, and that’s okay because he wouldn’t want me to dwell on his passing.

RIP to the best Uncle, a Husband and a Great Father.

Sometimes I catch myself off guard when laughing with my family and refer to something my uncle would say. As I’m allowing myself to grieve, I remember things about him which make me laugh, making it easier to deal with the memories. I’ve also cried and expressed to my mum that I can’t believe he’s gone, but this helps me in dealing with it too. I rely on my faith but it doesn’t mean I can’t grieve. Allow yourself to go through the process and not feel guilty about it. If it’s close to home, don’t let anger endure if you think people are more detached or appeared to have moved on, they might just be grieving differently.

Own your feelings and live your life the best way you can.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on

To anyone who has lost a loved one, I hope this blog serves you well.

Photo by Reafon Gates on

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