Are we so afraid to “fail” we end up failing ourselves?

As the saying goes: ‘no-one’s perfect.’ Then why do we work so hard to try and get things right all the time? Nobody wants to intentionally fail, and not showing up for a presentation or a test can be down to fear. It’s what we tell ourselves that determines our next steps and sometimes, the next few years of our lives.
If you say:

“I can do it” you will. If you say “I can’t do it” you won’t.
Fear of failure is why we think we’re not capable of doing something, but if we at least try then who have we failed?

For instance, if you’re not good at something it doesn’t mean you’ve failed at it – it’s just not your best attribute. Nevertheless, if you try again, you might get it right the second, third or even fourth time and if you look at it from a different angle, you’d realise it’s your resilience that makes you a success. You can’t be the best at everything, but your true calling can come out of something you never set your sights on.

Photo by: Vladislav Klapin Unsplash

Growing up, I formed an idea of what success is and saw it first-hand, heard about successful people but not all of what it takes to get there. I learned about what hard work can do, but a lot of people failed first before they started seeing or reaping the benefits to their success. I like to reflect on (whatever) situation I’m in, see how it’s working for me so I can ask myself, is this something I can dedicate myself to and what am I willing to sacrifice? What can I change and if nothing, is it productive? 

Sometimes, we try so hard to impress others that we forget ourselves in the process. Meanwhile impressing others, doesn’t mean were complete rather we have something to prove, to ourselves? If I’m going to do something, I’m doing it to reach my full potential and would like whatever I’m to prove to be for the right reasons.

Photo by Pixabay on

The thing about success is it’s usually measured by someone else, and what someone else has got including possessions, money and even education. Still, success can mean different things to different people but the idea of failing at something; means little hope to some.

The notion of not doing something the right way could be a way of thinking. Depending on the situation; it could be a test, a relationship or handling difficult situations at work, how do you get something right the first time around that you have no experience in? or learn as you go along – all while doing it the right way. We all have to learn at some point and continue to, even at our best. I almost cringed at the thought of the f word but had to look at why. 

The same people who swear failure is not an option, fail, without realising it. What can you learn without experience? If we got it right all the time then how can we say we’ve progressed. If something doesn’t work out the first time it doesn’t mean you haven’t succeeded, and if it doesn’t work out at all then maybe it wasn’t for you.

Photo by Lynnelle Richardson on

We all have different paths and timing is key when embarking on something new. We all have a bar or set our standards when it comes to success. You might be the person who finally reaches what you consider success, only to get there and say; ‘Is that it, what’s next?’ Imagine preparing yourself for this one main event in your life that comes but then a few months later, it’s not enough, you want more.

Photo by Gerd Altmann on

 Success to me is being satisfied. Growth doesn’t have to stop there but that feeling of being content is what success means to me. Also, not compromising who I am, allows me to be content therefore, I am a success. I’ve made decisions that I knew were best for me at the time yet, had doubts that made me second-guess whether I was doing the right thing. It’s ok to change your mind, to try something new or take what I call -good risks. For those familiar with the quote:

‘When one door closes another one opens,’ it can be hard to stay motivated when the other door doesn’t open quickly, but it will open.

Also, I’ve learned to be okay with closing the door (and it might not make sense to the people you know). Still, with hard work, patience and just enough drive, your disappointment could lead to open doors and the start of many great things, in your life.  

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